A Polish man moved to the US and married an American girl.Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds? Yes, an acre and a half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? It made of concrete
I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge
No, we have carport and not need one. (Garage)
I mean what are your relations like? All my relatives still in Poland
Is there any infidelity in your marriage? We have high fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up? No, I always up before her.
Is your wife a nagger? No, she white.
Why do you want this divorce? She going to kill me
What makes you think that? I got proof.
What kind of proof? She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover!!!